I myself have lived in a rented flat with few of my friends. We were four and at times five. None of us had smoking and drinking habits if at all you count those as bad habits. But what was amazing was the treatment we got there… it was like outsiders. We did not understand why? What is it that we have done which made them think like that? I think it was probably the way it was because they have had or heard of some bad incidents which made them think so and I guess that is what is happening with us. I don’t deny the fact that there are bachelors who have caused trouble to the society and made life hell out there. But they are few in number and could be handled on a case to case basis. Completely denying their existence in the society is really unfair to the ones who have come so far to fulfill their ambitions, leaving behind their families and are just looking for some damn place to stay with no intensions of causing any trouble to the society. I don’t know where we would have gone that time provided all the societies had decided not to allow bachelors.
After all, what we are today is the reflection of what the society has been to us. As I have said earlier, in the start itself bachelors are looked at with suspicious eyes and treated as if they are criminals. How do we expect them to behave with us? Do we ever try to be friends with them? Do any of us ever try to involve them in rituals and functions we have in the society? Mostly... A big "NO".
As a matter of fact, our children are gonna go out tomorrow and they are also gonna need some place to stay.....that time would we be able to take that they call our children as "outsiders"? would we be able to take them called as someone who has come from a family of goons? NO... that time we would have a completely different attitude as if we are the only pure souls on this earth and our children are the only good kids. As they say in Marathi " Apla to babya.. Dusryache te karte" (google it, you will get the meaning).
There is also one completely different aspect of this issue. To give you an example, there may be a poor guy who has given everything he has for this flat and in the meanwhile he has to go outside just because his job wants him to... what would he do? Pay the EMI and rent of the new rented flat and do nothing with the flat he purchased which can get him few bucks in return. Is he thinking anything wrong? Is he being unfair to anyone? I don’t think so... unless the bachelors staying in the flat are causing any damage to the society, in any sense whatsoever or are showing some kind of unethical behavior. (Well... this condition applies to all views I have written before.) I think we are being unfair to him by not allowing him to rent his flat. If you talk about the probability, most probably he is gonna find some bachelor in need of a place to stay than a family.
There may be a stream of thought saying “why should we?”...that’s a stream showing complete indifference towards a social issue. The stream may say that we have it written on the agreement and also there would be other societies where bachelors are allowed so why should we? Why not.... Why couldn’t we allow them rather than expecting someone else would? Why do we always throw the responsibilities not concerning us or our families to others? ... Why can’t we make a space for someone else`s children when we expect it to happen to our children? We certainly can.... and that too with hardly any effort.
We can certainly make rules for them regarding what all things are not allowed in the society rather than just writing them off completely. I know we are capable enough to make the rules and get them obeyed.
After all it starts with the wrong attitude of an individual, a home, a society, a city, a state that makes life hell for outside people who are here for their “Rozi roti” just because a few of them were bad… if you understand what I am talking about…
__Manish Khorgade
PS: I, in near or distant future, am not planning to rent my flat to the bachelors.
